Body positivity: how to stop judging people based on their body size
Have you ever looked down on yourself because of your body shape?
Have you ever lost your confidence just because you don't think you look as good as your peers? Or have you ever judged someone, whether it was a friend, celebrity or someone you barely knew, because of their body shapes? If you have, please, by all means, stop it.
The Good Place star Jameela Jamil said in an interview: "We are world leaders, we are designers, we are scientists, we are mothers, we are friends, we are huge contributors to society, we are supposed to be treated like an equal gender, but how can we become equal if we are given all this extra homework of being very thin and completely flawless in every single way."
For some reasons, it's dramatic when a woman puts on weight, but it doesn't work the same way with men. So the thing is, the existing pressure for women to stay slim is a manifestation of patriarchy.
The media post exaggerated photos of female celebrities gaining weight, magazines airbrush photos to make sure the pretty lady on the front cover looks younger and slimmer than she actually is in real life. Countless young girls continuously feel the sense of unworthiness just because they don't live up to the social norm. Somehow we—the society—put women under a microscope, we put appearances in front of anything else, whereas men don't get the same expectation. So how can we do our parts to change this worrying situation?
If you don't want to be judged, stop judging other people.
>Don't tell your friend about their weight change. I find it so irritating when people talk about weight change of someone the minute they see them. I mean, so many things must have happened since the last time you saw them, why not care about those really meaningful life events? Sometimes the case might be you congratulating someone on their slimmer figure but actually, that is a result of something rather upsetting.
What about other people? Like celebrities, someone you see on social media or on a bus, a train? Well, if someone doesn't even play a part in your life, are happy with themselves, are not causing any harm in the society, then they have the right to do whatever they want and we shouldn't criticise them just because we think they don't fit into the modern aesthetic mould. The thing is, from my point of view, judgments and comparisons are tightly bound together, if you can quit judging others, you won't be able to stop comparing yourself to others. It's a vicious circle.
Look beyond the surface
You know what? The fact that you are able to hug your friends and family, the fact that you are able to run, dance and laugh is all because of this body. So what is the reason for not being grateful for that? We've got this body but we are more than just this body, we all intelligent, unique individuals, we are the ones that are going to create the future for this world. So I say, applaud for it, be proud of it, remind yourself you are everything but a surface.
Try to be more nurturing to other people
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Being hateful towards others will not add any value to your life, gossiping about someone who has put a little bit of weight on will not make your life any easier. But, genuinely appreciating other peoples effort at work, telling your friends you are proud of them when they achieve something, caring about your family, listening to them when they share their life with you, will enrich your life. Merely circulating negative messages is not only harming ourselves and others but also contributing to the process of distorting society.
So next time, try to shift the focus from spotting the changes in someone's body to noticing the sparkles in their eyes.